Emotional Wholeness
Why do I feel invisible in my relationships?
“Why do I feel invisible? Why do I feel like no one ever really sees me?” Lucy asked with a hint of desperate loneliness. I remember our first meeting vividly, though it was years ago. I was a relatively new counselor, interning at a college counseling center. She was a bright young graduate student –...
Can I pray negative thoughts away?
Many people struggle with negative thinking, without even realizing it. It’s not good for your mental or emotional health, and it doesn’t lead you toward the loving relationship God wants with you. Negative thoughts can lead you down a road toward helplessness, increase stress chemicals, and contribute to depression and anxiety. At the same time,...
What is Healthy Faith vs. Spiritual Bypassing?
Events in the world have been hard. And, when things get hard, our faith gets tested. So, what does healthy faith look like when it feels like the world is falling apart? According to Hebrews 11:1 faith is the “the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we...
Am I Supposed to Let My Kids Walk All Over Me?
One of the most common questions that I hear from parents is some version of this one: “Am I supposed to let my kids walk all over me?” The answer is, “No.” But, there’s an important caveat that you must first understand: It’s not your child’s job to give you the respect you have never...
The Most Important Gift
This Christmas, I hope you’ll give yourself the most important gift. It’s the gift of learning to pay attention to the still, quiet God-given voice within. This gift isn’t big or fancy, nor does it come in flashy trappings. But, it is costly. In fact, it requires everything you’ve got. Think about how Jesus came,...
The Sacred Work of Saying “Yes” to Yourself
The holiday season is here. Like me, your focus is likely shifting to all of the needs around you. Giving to others is important work. But, did you know that saying “Yes” to yourself is just as important? Saying yes to yourself isn’t about being selfish. Instead, the work is sacred. It’s about staying connected...
Should I Turn the Other Cheek?
Have you ever dealt with a difficult person, such as a bully, a manipulator, or someone who was just downright mean? I’ve counseled hundreds of women in these types of agonizing relationships. Yet, one of the first things these ladies will ask me is: Shouldn’t I turn the other cheek? Isn’t that how we’re supposed...
How to Get Over Your Fear of Disappointing Others
I’ve taken some time off from writing this weekly blog in order to care for myself through a health scare. (You can read more about what happened here.) Thank you for your kind notes of prayer and support. I’ve missed showing up here, and am grateful to be back! As I first started to wrap...
Are You Supposed to Distrust Yourself?
I was taught not to trust myself. After all, the heart is deceitful and wicked. For years, I second-guessed my every thought, feeling, or inkling. It felt wrong to listen to—let alone trust—my own instincts. Instead, I did one of two things: 1.) I prayed for God to “just tell me” clear answers. 2.) I...
Are You Really Supposed to Die to Yourself?
For years, there has been a silent message that most of us have been taught to accept. It is based on an idea that is portrayed as Biblical. The message is that in order to be a good Christian in any situation, no matter how hard, you must die to yourself. This message has been...
How to Get More Confidence From the Inside Out
What if I told you that in order to get more confidence, you’d first have to face your fears and insecurities? As a counselor for nearly two decades, I’ve had the privilege of getting to witness the bravery of countless individuals who are willing to take an honest look inside—people who are daring to face...
Examples of Shame and 4 Strategies to Fight It
What are the words you beat yourself up with? Consider what you say to yourself when you’ve made a mistake, experienced a rejection, or been exposed in some way that was uncomfortable. Do you notice examples of shame messages inside of yourself like these: You’re a terrible person. You’re not worthy of love. You deserve...
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.
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