Emotional Wholeness
Should I Turn the Other Cheek?
Have you ever dealt with a difficult person, such as a bully, a manipulator, or someone who was just downright mean? I’ve counseled hundreds of women in these types of agonizing relationships. Yet, one of the first things these ladies will ask me is: Shouldn’t I turn the other cheek? Isn’t that how we’re supposed...
How to Get Over Your Fear of Disappointing Others
I’ve taken some time off from writing this weekly blog in order to care for myself through a health scare. (You can read more about what happened here.) Thank you for your kind notes of prayer and support. I’ve missed showing up here, and am grateful to be back! As I first started to wrap...
Are You Supposed to Distrust Yourself?
I was taught not to trust myself. After all, the heart is deceitful and wicked. For years, I second-guessed my every thought, feeling, or inkling. It felt wrong to listen to—let alone trust—my own instincts. Instead, I did one of two things: 1.) I prayed for God to “just tell me” clear answers. 2.) I...
Are You Really Supposed to Die to Yourself?
For years, there has been a silent message that most of us have been taught to accept. It is based on an idea that is portrayed as Biblical. The message is that in order to be a good Christian in any situation, no matter how hard, you must die to yourself. This message has been...
How to Get More Confidence From the Inside Out
What if I told you that in order to get more confidence, you’d first have to face your fears and insecurities? As a counselor for nearly two decades, I’ve had the privilege of getting to witness the bravery of countless individuals who are willing to take an honest look inside—people who are daring to face...
Examples of Shame and 4 Strategies to Fight It
What are the words you beat yourself up with? Consider what you say to yourself when you’ve made a mistake, experienced a rejection, or been exposed in some way that was uncomfortable. Do you notice examples of shame messages inside of yourself like these: You’re a terrible person. You’re not worthy of love. You deserve...
How to Deal with Envy: An Exercise in Curiosity
Envy is a powerful emotion that keeps you in an emotional and spiritual fog. When it descends, you can suddenly find yourself in a dark place. You start to feel awful about yourself and resentful of other people. Everyone needs to know how to deal with envy. The problem is that most people try to...
Types of Loneliness and the Importance of Facing It
No one wants to feel lonely. And yet, every single person does. Loneliness, along with anxiety, is one of the most basic realities of being human. Facing your loneliness takes courage. And, it’s important to understand different types of loneliness, so that you can get on the right path toward meaningful connection. Even before the...
How to Deal with Grief Using 2 Helpful Guidelines
“I don’t want to be with you anymore,” he said over dinner. “I’ve met someone else.” My client, Tasha, was reeling from the news that her husband wanted a divorce. Over the next few months, her mind spun as she second-guessed every move she’d made in her short-lived marriage and wrestled with how to deal...
Overcoming Guilt: 3 Ways to Live Guilt Free
Many women struggle with overcoming constant feelings of guilt. The lingering voice of guilt can feel like an ever-present companion: You’re not giving your kids enough attention. You’re late. Now, your colleague will have to pick up your slack. You’re neglecting your friends. What about your mom? Dad? Sister? Grandparent? They need you. Overcoming guilt...
Fear in the Bible and 4 Ways to Address It
Fear is one of the most common human emotions. And, it is one of the most common emotions mentioned in the Bible. Some of the biggest heroes of faith struggled with fear in the Bible. It’s an expected and healthy human response to a range of events from violence and oppression to rejection and personal...
The Danger of Being a People Pleaser
“What is the danger of being a people pleaser?” my client asked angrily one day. “Isn’t pleasing people kind and helpful? Isn’t that how God wants us to be?” Kathleen had come to me for help with her depression. She was exhausted, lonely, and felt guilty all the time. Before long, it became clear to...
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