Blog
Are You Supposed to Meet Your Mother’s Needs?
I see you. I’m proud of you. I’m grateful for who you are. Imagine these words being spoken directly to you by your mom, with no ulterior motive or hidden agenda. What is that like for you? What emotions does it stir up? Is it hard for you to imagine your mom speaking words of...
How Do I Find Safe Relationships?
If you’ve been hurt by a destructive relationship, you are not alone. I am constantly amazed by how often I hear stories such as these: A wife who faces the fact that her husband is emotionally abusive A loyal person who discovers that her best friend has been manipulating her A daughter who finally understands...
The Most Important Gift
This Christmas, I hope you’ll give yourself the most important gift. It’s the gift of learning to pay attention to the still, quiet God-given voice within. This gift isn’t big or fancy, nor does it come in flashy trappings. But, it is costly. In fact, it requires everything you’ve got. Think about how Jesus came,...
The Sacred Work of Saying “Yes” to Yourself
The holiday season is here. Like me, your focus is likely shifting to all of the needs around you. Giving to others is important work. But, did you know that saying “Yes” to yourself is just as important? Saying yes to yourself isn’t about being selfish. Instead, the work is sacred. It’s about staying connected...
Should I Turn the Other Cheek?
Have you ever dealt with a difficult person, such as a bully, a manipulator, or someone who was just downright mean? I’ve counseled hundreds of women in these types of agonizing relationships. Yet, one of the first things these ladies will ask me is: Shouldn’t I turn the other cheek? Isn’t that how we’re supposed...
The Benefits of Self Awareness: A Tool Every Couple Needs
“Why can’t he just pick up his clothes for once?” you mutter under your breath. You’re not sure why, but you feel annoyed today for some reason. You continue to go through the motions of your day. The work gets done somehow, and you hold it together. Over dinner, when your husband strikes up a...
How to Get Over Your Fear of Disappointing Others
I’ve taken some time off from writing this weekly blog in order to care for myself through a health scare. (You can read more about what happened here.) Thank you for your kind notes of prayer and support. I’ve missed showing up here, and am grateful to be back! As I first started to wrap...
Are You Supposed to Distrust Yourself?
I was taught not to trust myself. After all, the heart is deceitful and wicked. For years, I second-guessed my every thought, feeling, or inkling. It felt wrong to listen to—let alone trust—my own instincts. Instead, I did one of two things: 1.) I prayed for God to “just tell me” clear answers. 2.) I...
Are You Really Supposed to Die to Yourself?
For years, there has been a silent message that most of us have been taught to accept. It is based on an idea that is portrayed as Biblical. The message is that in order to be a good Christian in any situation, no matter how hard, you must die to yourself. This message has been...
How to Get More Confidence From the Inside Out
What if I told you that in order to get more confidence, you’d first have to face your fears and insecurities? As a counselor for nearly two decades, I’ve had the privilege of getting to witness the bravery of countless individuals who are willing to take an honest look inside—people who are daring to face...
Examples of Shame and 4 Strategies to Fight It
What are the words you beat yourself up with? Consider what you say to yourself when you’ve made a mistake, experienced a rejection, or been exposed in some way that was uncomfortable. Do you notice examples of shame messages inside of yourself like these: You’re a terrible person. You’re not worthy of love. You deserve...
How to Deal with Envy: An Exercise in Curiosity
Envy is a powerful emotion that keeps you in an emotional and spiritual fog. When it descends, you can suddenly find yourself in a dark place. You start to feel awful about yourself and resentful of other people. Everyone needs to know how to deal with envy. The problem is that most people try to...
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