Blog
Why do I feel invisible in my relationships?
“Why do I feel invisible? Why do I feel like no one ever really sees me?” Lucy asked with a hint of desperate loneliness. I remember our first meeting vividly, though it was years ago. I was a relatively new counselor, interning at a college counseling center. She was a bright young graduate student –...
Can I pray negative thoughts away?
Many people struggle with negative thinking, without even realizing it. It’s not good for your mental or emotional health, and it doesn’t lead you toward the loving relationship God wants with you. Negative thoughts can lead you down a road toward helplessness, increase stress chemicals, and contribute to depression and anxiety. At the same time,...
What is Healthy Faith vs. Spiritual Bypassing?
Events in the world have been hard. And, when things get hard, our faith gets tested. So, what does healthy faith look like when it feels like the world is falling apart? According to Hebrews 11:1 faith is the “the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we...
Am I a Bad Person if I Say “No” and Hurt Someone?
Many of us, if we’re honest, tend to base the criteria for whether we feel good about ourselves on how other people respond to us. Without realizing it, we operate a little like this: I am a good person if I make other people happy. I am a bad person if I hurt other people....
Am I Supposed to Let My Kids Walk All Over Me?
One of the most common questions that I hear from parents is some version of this one: “Am I supposed to let my kids walk all over me?” The answer is, “No.” But, there’s an important caveat that you must first understand: It’s not your child’s job to give you the respect you have never...
Are You Supposed to Meet Your Mother’s Needs?
I see you. I’m proud of you. I’m grateful for who you are. Imagine these words being spoken directly to you by your mom, with no ulterior motive or hidden agenda. What is that like for you? What emotions does it stir up? Is it hard for you to imagine your mom speaking words of...
How Do I Find Safe Relationships?
If you’ve been hurt by a destructive relationship, you are not alone. I am constantly amazed by how often I hear stories such as these: A wife who faces the fact that her husband is emotionally abusive A loyal person who discovers that her best friend has been manipulating her A daughter who finally understands...
The Most Important Gift
This Christmas, I hope you’ll give yourself the most important gift. It’s the gift of learning to pay attention to the still, quiet God-given voice within. This gift isn’t big or fancy, nor does it come in flashy trappings. But, it is costly. In fact, it requires everything you’ve got. Think about how Jesus came,...
The Sacred Work of Saying “Yes” to Yourself
The holiday season is here. Like me, your focus is likely shifting to all of the needs around you. Giving to others is important work. But, did you know that saying “Yes” to yourself is just as important? Saying yes to yourself isn’t about being selfish. Instead, the work is sacred. It’s about staying connected...
Should I Turn the Other Cheek?
Have you ever dealt with a difficult person, such as a bully, a manipulator, or someone who was just downright mean? I’ve counseled hundreds of women in these types of agonizing relationships. Yet, one of the first things these ladies will ask me is: Shouldn’t I turn the other cheek? Isn’t that how we’re supposed...
The Benefits of Self Awareness: A Tool Every Couple Needs
“Why can’t he just pick up his clothes for once?” you mutter under your breath. You’re not sure why, but you feel annoyed today for some reason. You continue to go through the motions of your day. The work gets done somehow, and you hold it together. Over dinner, when your husband strikes up a...
How to Get Over Your Fear of Disappointing Others
I’ve taken some time off from writing this weekly blog in order to care for myself through a health scare. (You can read more about what happened here.) Thank you for your kind notes of prayer and support. I’ve missed showing up here, and am grateful to be back! As I first started to wrap...
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.
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