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showing-up-for-yourself

How to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Showing Up for Yourself

By Alison Cook | May 6, 2021

The most important gift you have to give your relationships is the ability to show up for yourself. When you start showing up for yourself, you learn to see yourself as God sees you. This means that you start to engage yourself from the core, or center, of your heart (1 Sam. 16:7). You learn...

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when-you-find-love-but-lose-yourself

When you lose yourself in love

By Alison Cook | April 29, 2021

It happens all the time. At first, your new love relationship felt great. But, over time, you started to notice cracks in the foundation. Maybe your spouse changed, or started to show true colors that were there, but hiding, all along. Or, maybe you are the one who is changing. Maybe you committed to someone...

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why-are-relationships-hard

Why are relationships so hard?

By Alison Cook | April 22, 2021

Most things worth having are challenging at first. Think about any hobby that you love, such as sports, painting, woodworking, or playing a musical instrument. How did you learn to do it well? Someone likely taught you the key skills. Then you started practicing. At first, your efforts were probably a little messy. If you...

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emotional-hijack

The Surprising Benefits of an Emotional Hijack

By Alison Cook | April 8, 2021

Nobody likes to be hijacked by emotions. It can be scary to find yourself overtaken with emotions or acting out in ways that don’t make sense. When your emotions hijack you, they take over and bypass your rational thought processes. You have an intense emotional reaction to a person or situation that is in excess...

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spiritual-gaslighting

Gaslighting and The Importance of a Good B.S. Detector

By Alison Cook | April 1, 2021

We live in a culture of gaslighting. That is, we live in a culture where people are adept at manipulating the truth to serve their own ego. It cuts across political parties, media, and even faith communities. It might have permeated your family. In today’s blog post, I will help you understand gaslighting, how it...

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does-god-want-me-to-stay-small

Does God want me to stay small?

By Alison Cook | March 18, 2021

Have you ever been told you are too much, too emotional, or too intimidating? For that matter, maybe you’ve felt too ambitious or too strong. This word, “too” comes up all the time in my conversations with women. Maybe it’s the men in your life who have suggested you dial it back. Or, maybe it’s...

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I-feel-invisible

Why do I feel invisible in my relationships?

By Alison Cook | March 4, 2021

“Why do I feel invisible? Why do I feel like no one ever really sees me?” Lucy asked with a hint of desperate loneliness. I remember our first meeting vividly, though it was years ago. I was a relatively new counselor, interning at a college counseling center. She was a bright young graduate student –...

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pray-my-stress-away

Can I pray negative thoughts away?

By Alison Cook | February 17, 2021

Many people struggle with negative thinking, without even realizing it. It’s not good for your mental or emotional health, and it doesn’t lead you toward the loving relationship God wants with you. Negative thoughts can lead you down a road toward helplessness, increase stress chemicals, and contribute to depression and anxiety. At the same time,...

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time-to-leave

What is Healthy Faith vs. Spiritual Bypassing?

By Alison Cook | February 3, 2021

Events in the world have been hard. And, when things get hard, our faith gets tested. So, what does healthy faith look like when it feels like the world is falling apart? According to Hebrews 11:1 faith is the “the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we...

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Am I a Bad Person if I Say “No” and Hurt Someone?

By Alison Cook | January 28, 2021

Many of us, if we’re honest, tend to base the criteria for whether we feel good about ourselves on how other people respond to us. Without realizing it, we operate a little like this: I am a good person if I make other people happy. I am a bad person if I hurt other people....

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am-i-supposed-to-let-my-kids-walk-all-over-me

Am I Supposed to Let My Kids Walk All Over Me?

By Alison Cook | January 21, 2021

One of the most common questions that I hear from parents is some version of this one: “Am I supposed to let my kids walk all over me?” The answer is, “No.” But, there’s an important caveat that you must first understand: It’s not your child’s job to give you the respect you have never...

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how-to-set-boundaries-with-your-mom

Are You Supposed to Meet Your Mother’s Needs?

By Alison Cook | January 13, 2021

I see you. I’m proud of you. I’m grateful for who you are. Imagine these words being spoken directly to you by your mom, with no ulterior motive or hidden agenda. What is that like for you? What emotions does it stir up? Is it hard for you to imagine your mom speaking words of...

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While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.

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