Blog
How do I get my spouse to change?
Have you ever felt these ways? “I don’t want to leave my marriage, but I want my husband to stop losing his temper.” “I love my husband, but I wish he would stop working so much and spend more time with our family.” “My marriage isn’t terrible, but I feel like everything we do is...
Loving Your Inner Enemies
“Put away your sword,” Jesus told a disciple poised to defend him from armed forces sent by political leaders in the Garden of Gethsemane. The king of heaven and earth could have commanded the angels to destroy his enemies and prevent his arrest and execution (Matt. 26:53). Instead, motivated by love, he hung on the...
How to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Showing Up for Yourself
The most important gift you have to give your relationships is the ability to show up for yourself. When you start showing up for yourself, you learn to see yourself as God sees you. This means that you start to engage yourself from the core, or center, of your heart (1 Sam. 16:7). You learn...
When you lose yourself in love
It happens all the time. At first, your new love relationship felt great. But, over time, you started to notice cracks in the foundation. Maybe your spouse changed, or started to show true colors that were there, but hiding, all along. Or, maybe you are the one who is changing. Maybe you committed to someone...
Why are relationships so hard?
Most things worth having are challenging at first. Think about any hobby that you love, such as sports, painting, woodworking, or playing a musical instrument. How did you learn to do it well? Someone likely taught you the key skills. Then you started practicing. At first, your efforts were probably a little messy. If you...
The Surprising Benefits of an Emotional Hijack
Nobody likes to be hijacked by emotions. It can be scary to find yourself overtaken with emotions or acting out in ways that don’t make sense. When your emotions hijack you, they take over and bypass your rational thought processes. You have an intense emotional reaction to a person or situation that is in excess...
Gaslighting and The Importance of a Good B.S. Detector
We live in a culture of gaslighting. That is, we live in a culture where people are adept at manipulating the truth to serve their own ego. It cuts across political parties, media, and even faith communities. It might have permeated your family. In today’s blog post, I will help you understand gaslighting, how it...
Does God want me to stay small?
Have you ever been told you are too much, too emotional, or too intimidating? For that matter, maybe you’ve felt too ambitious or too strong. This word, “too” comes up all the time in my conversations with women. Maybe it’s the men in your life who have suggested you dial it back. Or, maybe it’s...
Why do I feel invisible in my relationships?
“Why do I feel invisible? Why do I feel like no one ever really sees me?” Lucy asked with a hint of desperate loneliness. I remember our first meeting vividly, though it was years ago. I was a relatively new counselor, interning at a college counseling center. She was a bright young graduate student –...
Can I pray negative thoughts away?
Many people struggle with negative thinking, without even realizing it. It’s not good for your mental or emotional health, and it doesn’t lead you toward the loving relationship God wants with you. Negative thoughts can lead you down a road toward helplessness, increase stress chemicals, and contribute to depression and anxiety. At the same time,...
What is Healthy Faith vs. Spiritual Bypassing?
Events in the world have been hard. And, when things get hard, our faith gets tested. So, what does healthy faith look like when it feels like the world is falling apart? According to Hebrews 11:1 faith is the “the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we...
Am I a Bad Person if I Say “No” and Hurt Someone?
Many of us, if we’re honest, tend to base the criteria for whether we feel good about ourselves on how other people respond to us. Without realizing it, we operate a little like this: I am a good person if I make other people happy. I am a bad person if I hurt other people....
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.
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