“Why do I feel invisible? Why do I feel like no one ever really sees me?” Lucy asked with a hint of desperate loneliness. I remember our first meeting vividly, though it was years ago. I was a relatively new counselor, interning at a college counseling center. She was a bright young graduate student –...
Many of us, if we’re honest, tend to base the criteria for whether we feel good about ourselves on how other people respond to us. Without realizing it, we operate a little like this: I am a good person if I make other people happy. I am a bad person if I hurt other people....
One of the most common questions that I hear from parents is some version of this one: “Am I supposed to let my kids walk all over me?” The answer is, “No.” But, there’s an important caveat that you must first understand: It’s not your child’s job to give you the respect you have never...
I see you. I’m proud of you. I’m grateful for who you are. Imagine these words being spoken directly to you by your mom, with no ulterior motive or hidden agenda. What is that like for you? What emotions does it stir up? Is it hard for you to imagine your mom speaking words of...
If you’ve been hurt by a destructive relationship, you are not alone. I am constantly amazed by how often I hear stories such as these: A wife who faces the fact that her husband is emotionally abusive A loyal person who discovers that her best friend has been manipulating her A daughter who finally understands...
This Christmas, I hope you’ll give yourself the most important gift. It’s the gift of learning to pay attention to the still, quiet God-given voice within. This gift isn’t big or fancy, nor does it come in flashy trappings. But, it is costly. In fact, it requires everything you’ve got. Think about how Jesus came,...
The holiday season is here. Like me, your focus is likely shifting to all of the needs around you. Giving to others is important work. But, did you know that saying “Yes” to yourself is just as important? Saying yes to yourself isn’t about being selfish. Instead, the work is sacred. It’s about staying connected...
“Why can’t he just pick up his clothes for once?” you mutter under your breath. You’re not sure why, but you feel annoyed today for some reason. You continue to go through the motions of your day. The work gets done somehow, and you hold it together. Over dinner, when your husband strikes up a...
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