Blog
Will Setting Boundaries Make Me Seem Cruel?
I hear this question often and it reveals a conundrum that many people of faith face when it comes to setting boundaries. Many of you feel that you have only two options when a boundary line has been crossed: a. Lash out and be perceived as cruel or selfish. b. Ignore the boundary foul and...
The Secret to Setting Boundaries
My client, Kay, was facing bullying at work. One colleague in particular was taking advantage of her. She didn’t like the way he treated her, but she didn’t know how to get it to stop. Each week, she would come into my office filled with anger, guilt, and shame. She’d fume about her colleague, and...
The Hidden Root of Toxic Behavior
You don’t really care about me. You only care about yourself. These words lingered in Mya’s mind as she came to my office for counseling. Earlier that week, her mother had lashed out at her—again. The truth was that Mya was trying to help her arrange for transportation to and from the hospital. But, her...
Is it Wrong to Focus on Myself?
As I’ve read and studied over the past few years, I am struck with two opposing messages that infiltrate our current cultural landscape. In the first message, you are taught to deny yourself in a way that I do not believe is of God. You are taught that you should bury your feelings, shrink, self-flagellate,...
Why Doesn’t God Just Fix It?
My son has gone off the rails. Our marriage is imploding. I can’t get my ex to stop spreading lies about me. Why are my parents so cruel to me? These are just a few of the stories that show up in my counseling office. I hear these stories from people who are working hard...
What are Self-Sabotaging Messages and How Can You Spot Them?
As you may know if you’ve been following along these past few weeks, I’m writing a book this summer. Shortly after signing the contract, I started noticing old self-sabotaging behaviors that I haven’t seen in a decade. Suddenly, the house was clean, old files were organized. I was even starting to sleuth through a random...
Gaslighting and the Bible: How to Respond When Someone is Manipulating You
Have you ever felt trapped in the web of somebody’s words? No matter what you say, this person takes your words, spins them into something else, and uses them to get you to doubt yourself or do things you do not want to do. For example, a conversation might go something like this: You: “I’m...
Guest Post | Dorothy Littell Greco
This week, please welcome author Dorothy Littell Greco to the blog. I love what Dorothy has to say about the power of creativity, and I pray you will find a spark in her words today as you face the challenges in your life with the power of your God-given imagination. The Power of Creativity in...
How do I get my spouse to change?
Have you ever felt these ways? “I don’t want to leave my marriage, but I want my husband to stop losing his temper.” “I love my husband, but I wish he would stop working so much and spend more time with our family.” “My marriage isn’t terrible, but I feel like everything we do is...
Loving Your Inner Enemies
“Put away your sword,” Jesus told a disciple poised to defend him from armed forces sent by political leaders in the Garden of Gethsemane. The king of heaven and earth could have commanded the angels to destroy his enemies and prevent his arrest and execution (Matt. 26:53). Instead, motivated by love, he hung on the...
How to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Showing Up for Yourself
The most important gift you have to give your relationships is the ability to show up for yourself. When you start showing up for yourself, you learn to see yourself as God sees you. This means that you start to engage yourself from the core, or center, of your heart (1 Sam. 16:7). You learn...
When you lose yourself in love
It happens all the time. At first, your new love relationship felt great. But, over time, you started to notice cracks in the foundation. Maybe your spouse changed, or started to show true colors that were there, but hiding, all along. Or, maybe you are the one who is changing. Maybe you committed to someone...
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.
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